Art of the day:

It’s been a while, and oh boy more Amano art! Tonight I go to the theater to see Angels Egg restored in 4k. This will be my fourth viewing of the film. What’s so special about the movie, anyway? I think most people viewing trailers don’t “get it”, because they’ve only seen what look like stills or heard one or two lines. Yes, this film has little dialogue. If you look forward into Mamoru Oshii’s Ghost in the Shell, it’s actually very similar. There are long sections of observation and no speech. It’s visual story telling with strong ambience that naturally provokes the viewers thought and makes them ask their own questions. In a sense, you become the girl with the egg as the film goes on. You feel the desperation, the fear, fragility of something that is so precious. So, what is in the egg? An angel, a bird? What would a bird in the egg dream of? To me, it’s a metaphor for “something to cling too” in a time of desperation. In most cases this is spirituality, thus the Christian themes. You only pray to god when you need him. This moment for you is transient, and so the egg is as empty as your prayers. Reality sinks in. We are forced to mature and grow. However some are eternally blinded by their faith, drown in it. We see humans turned to stone, gazes fixed on the sky – waiting for signs.

Song of the day:

Looking for something more chill, I revisited Thievery Corporation. I’ve been gushing about Gorillaz modern music having messages about the current state of the world, including the effects of technology on the human psyche. “It’s a cracked screen world” as one of the opening lyrics to The Tired Influencer. In 2011, Culture of Fear was released and the named track has stronger more pointed lyrics that are telling for the time they were released. “Laptops, smart phones, now we’re never alone… A little affliction I call a media dome”. Pretty much everyone, everywhere, has a “smart phone”. What if our phone is the egg? “A direct line connection to our id” my husband said to me one night. We are praying to a blue light, it’s cracked, it’s empty, and it’s spreading fear. “Parts of our society designed to smear freedom, Don’t succumb to this culture fear”. Many are trapped in the lights gaze, stone-faced, looking down to escape – they know there are no signs, and have no dreams.

Thoughts:
I’ve been off stream-viewing and more connected to communities directly. Including a return to casual “friend slop” with Raven’s Watch. It’s not a chore like those MMO’s I adore. It’s a short challenge with minor bits of rage and silliness for an hour and then we all go do our own thing. I’m taking up Spanish via Rosetta Stone, I’m experimenting with a VTuber model and expression through the identities we can create, I’m rediscovering old video games, I’m preserving VHS tapes, I’m volunteering at the animal shelter. These things, they are a distraction. However, they are not empty. I am fulfilled, and still grounded in reality. Around me, my family is lost. They are substance abusers, estranged, and sometimes aggressive in pushing their agenda on to my own small family. I saw a suicide note by another Smash player, who I had already blocked for being young and dumb (19). It was forwarded via a bot in discord, I unblocked them and sent one message: to delete their social media, and instructed them how to get banned off of twitter. Then reblocked them. I don’t understand why my family, strangers, see a torch laying on the ground and pick it up like a mindless zombie. Then get sad over making no difference, not being heard. Or worse, start bashing, or use chatgpt to defend themselves by summarizing an article. They fill their lives with emptiness, and I don’t have space for this darkness in my life anymore. Cast your shadows elsewhere.